How He Started

Michael’s journey began with Toastmasters, where he set milestones to confront his social anxiety. Watching others participate in table topics, he felt each question was like surviving a windstorm. To navigate this, he developed strategies:

1. Question the Question: When asked a question like, “What’s your favorite vacation?” Michael would think, “What is a vacation?” This method allowed him to unpack the question and gain confidence, ensuring he always had something to say.
2. Use “On the Other Hand”: He learned to break his thoughts into two parts. For example, if he had to speak for two minutes, he would split it into two one-minute talks, allowing for clearer organization.
3. Share Personal Stories: Instead of fabricating stories, he focused on personal experiences, which made his responses more authentic.

While these strategies were empowering, they also revealed that Michael was still playing defense—answering from a place of fear rather than confidence. He realized that despite having answers, he still felt anxiety and self-consciousness.

Building Confidence Through Pausing

Michael discovered the power of pausing. When he paused, it created a moment of anticipation, allowing him to feel more in control of the audience. As he grew more comfortable with pauses, he began to incorporate them into work meetings and prided himself on his ability to hold them. This simple act contributed significantly to his confidence, but again, it stemmed from a defensive mindset.

Developing Eye Contact Skills

To further build his confidence, Michael practiced eye contact through “staring contests” while speaking. This tactic was based on what he had been taught, but he realized he was still acting confidently without truly embodying that confidence.

At Ultraspeaking, the emphasis is on staying in character rather than faking it. Michael had been using techniques to present a confident facade, but the goal was to become genuinely confident.

Transitioning from Defense to Offense

When Michael began teaching, his approach shifted. One of his first clients was a shy Russian immigrant who often looked at the ground. Recognizing his potential, Michael engaged him through activities like clapping and movement, which helped boost his confidence and energy.

As Michael developed Ultraspeaking through his and Tristan’s unique experiments, he found himself paying off debts related to his public speaking journey. He had adopted a “public speaking voice” that felt fake and untrue to himself, something his wife noticed and disliked.

Through this experience, Michael learned that pausing wasn’t about controlling the audience; it was about connecting with himself. This shift in understanding transformed his approach to public speaking.

Parting Thoughts

Michael's journey illustrates that many enter public speaking training on the defensive, viewing it as a threat. However, as confidence builds, the opportunity arises to play offense. He encourages aspiring speakers to embrace creativity in their responses—starting in the middle of a story or approaching questions philosophically. In this state, the outcome of performance becomes less important; what matters is the joy of experimenting and connecting without tying one’s identity to performance.

Ultimately, there may be a phase of faking it, but once you achieve genuine confidence, it no longer matters how you arrived there. The journey from defense to offense is about learning to express yourself authentically while enjoying the process.